come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
