its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
