hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
