i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
