Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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