my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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