My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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