Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
