Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
