I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
