they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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