He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
