No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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