spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
