STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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