im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
