im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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