I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
