The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize