I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
