im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
