Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
