I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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