They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
