Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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