Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
