Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
