I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i barfeds in our rink
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
