so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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