i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
