She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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