That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Randomize
