Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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