There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
