i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
