Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Enjoy the penises
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
