If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
