i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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