Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
