just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
