No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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