Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize