I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
