He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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