we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
