i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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