No more Irish car bombs ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
