im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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