yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
