haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Drake has all the answers
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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