Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
