Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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