Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
