Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Never underestimate the power of titties
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
