thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
