Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
