Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
