Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
