Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
