Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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