I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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