She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
