He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
